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Augury

Asking out a cute cashier on Monday

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So I'm looking for date ideas. Any suggestions?

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I'd take any information with a grain of salt.

Still, more information is needed, where do you live? (US, UK etc.)

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I'd take any information with a grain of salt.

Still, more information is needed, where do you live? (US, UK etc.)

FL, just looking for date ideas that aren't too generic

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Good luck. You're asking a RSPS community, which normally consists of anti-social 12-17 year olds.

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I, for one, happen to specialize in women. First of all, you'll want to go rent a limousine. Don't have the money? Steal it. Secondly, take her to a high-end restaurant. What is considered high-end? If the water is less than $80, you're in the wrong place. Don't have the money? Steal it. Thirdly, you'll want to go enjoy a nice activity that teenagers like. Something like professional golf, maybe even handicap basketball. This will get you laid for sure, no doubt in my mind. 

 

P.S. Wear a fedora, and call her M'lady at every chance you get. Women dig that.

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I, for one, happen to specialize in women. First of all, you'll want to go rent a limousine. Don't have the money? Steal it. Secondly, take her to a high-end restaurant. What is considered high-end? If the water is less than $80, you're in the wrong place. Don't have the money? Steal it. Thirdly, you'll want to go enjoy a nice activity that teenagers like. Something like professional golf, maybe even handicap basketball. This will get you laid for sure, no doubt in my mind. 

 

P.S. Wear a fedora, and call her M'lady at every chance you get. Women dig that.

You got it all wrong you stupid virgin, if you want her to have feelings for you you need to take her someplace that with trigger emotion. I suggest taking her to your mom's funeral, she'll feel sad which is great, plus she will feel the need to fill that womanly void in your life. If your mom isn't dead you can probably just hire a homeless person to pretend to be your mom, or if your really lazy just show up to some random funeral and pretend it's your mom.

Edited by StevenAbraham

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I remember when I approached @Chris at the Burger King. He was sitting alone in the parking lot shoveling some greasy cheeseburgers into his gullet, but my god did he ever capture my heart the first time I laid eyes on him. Stricken with fear and some courage, I slowly walked over and extended my hand... "Top of the morning. Pleasant day, m'lady?" "Quite." he answered, in a sarcastic tone, as he shovels 2 or 3 chicken nuggets in his mouth refusing to shake my hand. I knew he was playing hard to get. I knew I couldn't come across as just another peasant -- no, he was a queen looking for a mighty king. Little did he know that I am literally that I speak of. I throw on my cape, pull on my leotards, grasp my scepter, and reveal my crown. "I am the Burger King". Immediately he falls to my knees and bows at my great presence: "My lord, I am not worthy! I am not worthy!" I tell him to rise, look him straight in the eyes, and tell him: "I am your king, you are my queen." And from there, sparked a love richer than all of the gold and fine jewels across the land.

Here's a portrait of Chris and I before the divorce:

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You guys are terrible.

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But seriously, a few ideas I've had suggested are:

 

  • Dinner & a Movie
  • Ice Skating
  • Mini-golf
  • Museum/Aquarium
Edited by Augury

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But seriously, a few ideas I've had suggested are:

 

  • Dinner & a Movie
  • Ice Skating
  • Mini-golf
  • Museum/Aquarium

These are all terrible ideas. Let me tell you why:

 

Dinner: She'll think you think she thinks that you think that she thinks you think she's anorexic and needs to eat more. Take her someplace more active.

Movie: She'll think you think that I think that you think that she wants you to giver her a handie in the theatre. Take her someplace more active.

Ice Skating? Bro this is serious shit and you think ice skating is going to cut it? Fucking peasant.

Mini-Golf: Professional golf or nothing. Mini golf is for 9 year olds and under. Take her someplace relaxing. Maybe a dinner. Possibly a movie.

Museum/Aquarium: This is the worst idea of them all simply because Museums are known to be sex trafficking hot-spots and as everyone knows Aquariums are the new go to place to buy heroin. 

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