I can't really tell you what to think about God because when it comes down to it, it's your decision whether to believe in a greater entity or not. But for your depression, as someone who can relate.. pills and advice from others who never had depression won't really help. Pills just made things worse and life much more stressful for me. All I could say is you need to take action for yourself. For me exercising helped to reduce my depression and I barely ever fall into it. Exercise gives you confidence and raises your serotonin levels which helps fight depression a lot, well, at least for me. I've been through a bit more of what you've been through with family/life problems making it worse. It was a dark time but it was the past. Live your life with the attitude "what has happened, has been done" no regrets, trust me it will make things much better. And for the girl, if you don't try you won't know, if she rejects you, it's her loss. If she blocks you ignore her bitch like behavior.. lol. If she wants to keep the relationship a secret and always puts you down and blocks you then she probably doesn't like you.. If she likes you then why would she block and not tell anyone about you, she should be proud... Honestly just ignore her she seems like a complete bitch :D, if she doesn't want to go out with you then move on in life because that's how life works.